Songs from the Fart Side

[Cute Loops]

ladies and gentleman, will you please welcome Mr. William Shitner

<Bill walks up to a stool, picks up the mic, sits down, lights a cigarette, assumes his forlorn cool-cat posture, starts rappin'>


It must have been fresh..
there in my shadow
to never have the fartlight upon your face
You were content to let me stink alone..
that's your way
You always wiffed.. a step behind

And so I was the one.. with all the stench
while you were the one.. with all the breeze
A beautiful nose without a wrinkle for so long
A beautiful smirk.. to hide the clean

<takes a deep drag, exhales, looks off contemplatively>

Well, did you ever know that you're my urinal?
youre everywhere I would like to pee
and with you I can fart so high
higher than an eagle
for you are the wind between my cheeks

<flicks ash, pauses>

It might have appeared to go undealt..
and so unsmelt, for so long
but I've got it all right here.. in my fart
I want you to know.. that I know the poof is
I would be so sanitary without you

<drag, pause, exhale, stand, walk forward a few steps.. reflectively>

Yes my luv.. did you ever know that you're my urinal?
youre everywhere I would like to pee
and with you..
yes you
I can fart..
higher
yes higher than an eagle
for you are the wind.. between my cheeks
Yes, you, you, you, are the wind between my cheeks
You let me fart
so high..
so very high
thank you, thank you
Oh, you, you, you, the wind.. between.. my cheeks

[Octopulse]

[Greetings radio listeners!, youre tuned into WFRT's The-Sprit-of-Radio Command Performance Special being broadcast to you live from FutureSplash Theatre in Federal City 3]

-- well alright, leave it on this station for a bit --

[And without further ado we bring to yoo a very special guest, a recent flatulate of the fart side academy, an artist who is gonna help us defeat the fresh on every front, will you please welcome..... Octo and the Pulses!]

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....
....

yes, and fuck you very much..

<pfft, wipes chin>

I outta come down there and slap all your feces, fuckin' pathetic wastes of flesh and blood, Ive never seen a prettier bunch o

[excuse me, ahhhh, Lord Octo, as the station manager I need to remind you that it clearly states in your performance rider that there will be no physical or mental abuse of our patro]

I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

Now before I perform for all you pretty assbags, I wanna tell ya I was on my transputer one night when I ran across this place called Holy Zoo, they had this video called Scrawler and I gotta say...

... these are some boyz after my own fart, I was mighty impressed alright, and I gotta say I was a bit scarified watching it, and its not easy scaring Octo

and so... I will dedicate my song tonight to the boyz at Holy Zoo

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....

ok Pulses, lets bend these fuckin' walls

1 anda 2 anda 3 anda

Holy Zoo
You saw me surfing alone
Without a scream in my fart
Without a bone of my own

Holy Zoo
You knew just what I was here for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could.... scare for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only eyes my hands could ever hold
and then I heard somebody whisper....
please abhore me
And when I looked the Moon it turned to mold

Holy Zoo
You saw me surfing alone
Without a scream in my fart
Without a bone of my own

<guitar solo.............................................. ......................................
.................................................. ......,...fluffed note from too much wine>

(lead guitarist stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat)

You have failed me for the last time Eddie. Captain RightPipe?

[Yes, Lord Octo?]

Have you been practicing your chops?

[Yes Lord Octo]

You are on lead now and you will deploy the next solo, see that not another note is fluffed within this system. Do not fail me.

[Thank you, Lord Octo] <gulp>

....
....

Holy Zoo
You knew just what I was here for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could.... scare for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only eyes my hands could ever hold
and then I heard somebody whisper....
please abhore me
And when I looked the Moon it turned to mold

Holy Zoo
<ba ba bada ba ba badabada>
Now I'm no longer alone
<ba ba bada ba ba badobebop>
Without a scream in my fart
<ba ba bada ba ba badabada>
Without a bone of my own
<ba ba bada ba>

uouooooooooooooooo..... <bopbop>
dododoododo dodoooo.... <bopbop badobebop>
dododododo dododooo.... <bopbop>
dododooo dodo dodoo..... <ahhhh ahhhhhhh...>

Yes Zoo, yoo brought me.........
someone I really could.............
scare for...............................

[thunderous applause]

Thank you, thank you

youre damn right Im good, you may all live.... for now :mad: