Mr. E
08-31-2005, 08:54 AM
Yes folks sorry to say it, sorry to break it to you, sorry to denigrate the last thing that brings meaning to your life, but rock and roll is not only dead but its lifeless animated corpse is still dry humping your ears with its shriveled necrotic penis. Have you tuned into the radio lately? When was the last time you herd a song that was actually good? When was the last time you heard a new song that actually sent shivers down your spine like the music used to years ago? They got internet radio now with hundreds and thousands of commercialess channels playen every type of music you could ever want to hear and guess what? It’s all about as bland as a saltine cracker without the salt. It aint like we got a shortage of artists, Hell just about everyone is in a band these days, piddling along, playing gigs for their friends, none of whom have the guts to tell the band that their music sucks so they keep on plucken away at those tired old instruments with the vague hope that they too will make it big someday. If they just persevere long enough then they will get discovered and not have to work anymore and they can fuck as many brain dead teenyboppers as they can possibly stick their zombie dicks into. Hell I can’t even tell em that they wont make it, after hearing the crap that gets played on the radio the local losers who have to pay the house just to get up on stage really don’t sound much worse than the so called hit bands. Yes its one sorry state for music out there an from the point of view of this observer there aint nothing on the horizon that is gonna save the dilapidated shambles of what is left of the rock and roll movement.
Could it be that the author of this little diatribe has simply grown old and out of touch. Has he just closed his mind and become one of those pathetic old men that just complain all the time about how music just aint what it used to be? Perhaps. You know my uncle used to say that he simply didn’t like music, Why? Because he claimed to be tone deaf. When I heard this as a young man I was shocked and disturbed. Music was so important to me that I felt a deep pity for my poor uncle who never allowed himself the joy of music. Now I am starting to see where he is coming from. But instead of claiming to be tone deaf I actually believe that there is no longer any music worth playing, and all the shit that used to inspire me I got sick of long ago. It sickens me to see people whose lives have become so meaningless that rock and roll it the only thing left in their life. To me its no it’s no different than the sorry sit com junkie who can’t miss a fucking episode of their favorite show. I don’t care how cool you say the band it its just fuckin music and boring old rock and roll at that. I hate to beak it to you all but MUSIC IS NOT LIFE! Just take a look at the sorry fucks who try to make it so. I aint talken about the fuckin true Hollywood story or VH1 “where are they now” I’m talken bout the million and one failed wannabe rock stars whose collective broken American dream flows down the storm drains of urban and suburban infrastructure throughout the nation like a busted sewage line spewing affluent effluent at a hundred gallons per minute. Claiming to not like music insulates you from the stinking underbelly of what is left of rock and roll scene. Turning your back on rock and roll makes it easier to explain to your fame obsessed former friends why you can’t stand to be around them any more, why when asked what you think of the show you can only reply “great stuff man”. If you can tell them can tell them that you really aint into music anymore then they wont think something is wrong with them since they have so strongly identified themselves with their music that to not like it is to not like them.
Many of you might be saying to yourselves, well if you think you can do better then why don’t you sit your critical ass down and come up with some music that is good. Yeah you sure can knock down what the rest of us desperately cling to but I don’t see you mister fuckin E pumpin out some original shit that will put all these so called rockers to shame. Yea there is the rub. Mr. E knows that due to his cultural isolation and music media boycott that has been going on for well over a decade now, that if he ever did sit down to make some music (which there is a good chance he never will) then all of you really will have to give up trying to make music as you hang your head in shame for trying to make us all pretend that we actually liked your music for so many years. Yea! For Mr. E has so many original melodies, beats, and lyrics floating around in his head that if the flood gates were ever opened it would put a screeching halt to the music industry. Mr. E would never see a dime for this wonderful gift given to the world because he feels it is absolutely ludicrous that all these fuckin so called “talented” rock stars are stinking fuckin rich for making you all pay for something that should be shared by all. Absurd that we all worship these pathetic “rock heroes” for ripping us off and making us believe that they really are something special while really doing jack shit for the world and that we all have to escape our own boring life by living the fantasy of theirs. Mr E says do not purchase a piece of music ever again, stop pretending that rock music is the be all end all of existence, and fer fuck sake turn off the goddamn hi fi set, put down yer fuckin boring old electric guitar, and find something meaningful to do with your life. Please! Our future depends on it.
After Apology:
Mr. E would like to offer his humble apology to all of the people he knows that may be offended or hurt by this piece. He doesn’t really want you all to stop playing and listening to music for your personal enjoyment. He just would like you all to take this shit a little less seriously and for you to understand why he seems a little less than enthusiastic about the music you love. Please try to understand and take pity on his inability to derive the kind of pleasure from music that you may be able to do.
This ends this transmission, carry on and rock on….
Could it be that the author of this little diatribe has simply grown old and out of touch. Has he just closed his mind and become one of those pathetic old men that just complain all the time about how music just aint what it used to be? Perhaps. You know my uncle used to say that he simply didn’t like music, Why? Because he claimed to be tone deaf. When I heard this as a young man I was shocked and disturbed. Music was so important to me that I felt a deep pity for my poor uncle who never allowed himself the joy of music. Now I am starting to see where he is coming from. But instead of claiming to be tone deaf I actually believe that there is no longer any music worth playing, and all the shit that used to inspire me I got sick of long ago. It sickens me to see people whose lives have become so meaningless that rock and roll it the only thing left in their life. To me its no it’s no different than the sorry sit com junkie who can’t miss a fucking episode of their favorite show. I don’t care how cool you say the band it its just fuckin music and boring old rock and roll at that. I hate to beak it to you all but MUSIC IS NOT LIFE! Just take a look at the sorry fucks who try to make it so. I aint talken about the fuckin true Hollywood story or VH1 “where are they now” I’m talken bout the million and one failed wannabe rock stars whose collective broken American dream flows down the storm drains of urban and suburban infrastructure throughout the nation like a busted sewage line spewing affluent effluent at a hundred gallons per minute. Claiming to not like music insulates you from the stinking underbelly of what is left of rock and roll scene. Turning your back on rock and roll makes it easier to explain to your fame obsessed former friends why you can’t stand to be around them any more, why when asked what you think of the show you can only reply “great stuff man”. If you can tell them can tell them that you really aint into music anymore then they wont think something is wrong with them since they have so strongly identified themselves with their music that to not like it is to not like them.
Many of you might be saying to yourselves, well if you think you can do better then why don’t you sit your critical ass down and come up with some music that is good. Yeah you sure can knock down what the rest of us desperately cling to but I don’t see you mister fuckin E pumpin out some original shit that will put all these so called rockers to shame. Yea there is the rub. Mr. E knows that due to his cultural isolation and music media boycott that has been going on for well over a decade now, that if he ever did sit down to make some music (which there is a good chance he never will) then all of you really will have to give up trying to make music as you hang your head in shame for trying to make us all pretend that we actually liked your music for so many years. Yea! For Mr. E has so many original melodies, beats, and lyrics floating around in his head that if the flood gates were ever opened it would put a screeching halt to the music industry. Mr. E would never see a dime for this wonderful gift given to the world because he feels it is absolutely ludicrous that all these fuckin so called “talented” rock stars are stinking fuckin rich for making you all pay for something that should be shared by all. Absurd that we all worship these pathetic “rock heroes” for ripping us off and making us believe that they really are something special while really doing jack shit for the world and that we all have to escape our own boring life by living the fantasy of theirs. Mr E says do not purchase a piece of music ever again, stop pretending that rock music is the be all end all of existence, and fer fuck sake turn off the goddamn hi fi set, put down yer fuckin boring old electric guitar, and find something meaningful to do with your life. Please! Our future depends on it.
After Apology:
Mr. E would like to offer his humble apology to all of the people he knows that may be offended or hurt by this piece. He doesn’t really want you all to stop playing and listening to music for your personal enjoyment. He just would like you all to take this shit a little less seriously and for you to understand why he seems a little less than enthusiastic about the music you love. Please try to understand and take pity on his inability to derive the kind of pleasure from music that you may be able to do.
This ends this transmission, carry on and rock on….