Annoying corporateSpeak

[Cute Loops]

heard anything lately that almost made you wanna punch someone right in the balls?

lets compile a list....

1. There are no problems, only solutions and opprutunities.
2. Now that everyone's on the same page.
3. Now's the time for us to really pull together as a team.
4. I propose that we proactively leverage our synergies on a going-forward basis.
5. Blue sky thinking.
6. I want to make sure we all have a warm-fuzzy.
7. Could you expedite this right away? Thanks in advance.
9. The company is looking at right-sizing as a candidate proactive business decision.
10. Cubby
11. Value added
12. Home style
13. We are providing a turnkey solution.
14. Our service will be tailored to meet the customers individual needs.
15. Team player
16. Vis a Vis
17. Lunch will be provided
18. Emotional intelligence
19. Let's run it up the flagpole, and see if anyone salutes.
20. Valued associates
21. Sign your name here please.
22. Lets do a thought shower offline after the meeting
23. The company is currently well positioned.
24. Fix it, but just don't change anything
25. They have left to pursue other interests.
26. There is no 'I' in Team.
27. Money is just the coward's way out anyway, lets give em a T-Shirt.
28. Send it inter-departmentally.

:cool:

[Cute Loops]

ooo, ooo just herd another

29. Reward Incentive Program

Im taking an extra half-hour for lunch because of the insult you fat fuckin' bastard

I keep thinking... it started out good here, but each day that goes by I think Ide rather be doing something more worthwhile, like maybe hosing shit outta cages and feeding dogs and cats, or maybe handing out coffee to losers like myself, try ta make God proud ya no?

[Monkey Chunx]

Mine are:

- Took care of
- Synergistic approach
- The beauty of
- I need you to
- The fact is

With the bonus non-corporatespeak but still horrible "Shoulda, woulda, coulda"

[Cute Loops]

just herd another...

"im in this position because i do the work of two people"

take the fuckin' ring outta ur nose muleboy, ur in that position because ur an ass-suck, you-suck-ass-i-would-never-drink-with-ewe

Im only one person, and i only do the work of one person, but i do it well and i give it straight, if you dont wanna hear the truth about ur shitass system then show me the fuckin' door..

..like i said i wanna clean cages anyway, maybe i'll just be the network admin of my home network, make my wife fill out IT tickets for her pc problems, make me feel it wasnt all 4 nothin'

....

god its like a cattle drive here, might as well put everyone on the roof and drive em right over the edge <whip-snap-whip-snap>

[Cute Loops]

herd another today....

"have this done today, if you cant have it done today then call me, thank you"

....

recipe 4 the day..

quick n easy instant asshole

- add promotion
- stir
- done

[Monkey Chunx]

Ha ha ha ha ha


The only time someone ever told me he was in his position because he did the work of two people, I said "I guess that makes me smarter than you because I make 95% of your pay, for only half the work. Whoops, almost five o'clock, QUITTIN TIME, BOYS!"


The last place I worked, a guy who was a real dickhead and was in a totally different department than me, got pissed that he was on hourly while I was on commission. Anytime a fucktard like that gets bent, you know you've found a sensitive spot you can drill into, so the next day I walked up to him with my keys in my hand and said, "You need to get hoppin' on these four I just sold. My commission check is coming up and mama wants a new hot tub!", then left for lunch, whistling like an idiot.

I try to be easy to luv, unless you are a cock to me, in which case I will make you fucking hate me.

[Cute Loops]

its 7:30am and ive gotta corona with lemon n lime yaa hut, its raining outside, the windows wide open, perfect fucking purrrfect

........

"working lunch"

I had one of those yesterday

cheese pizza, salad thrown in a styro box, some oil to drool over it, nothing to drink gotta run ta the machine, finished up mafeeding time in semi-darkness... watching an overhead screen

wUnderful, for lunch i should be down the street, in the park, in the sun, eating a dog, watchin' some skirt, its warm out today, fuck

"working lunch"...... someone should hoist the pigbastardcow that came up with that concept, 2 words that should not exist in the same sentence:mad::cool: